Ontario, eh

Toronto was never that high on my city wishlist, but due to various complex friend-related reasons (which can be boiled down to "I don't have many, so am reliant on the ones I do have") it's where I spent the first few days of my recent north American jaunt. I certainly had no designs on staying at the Holiday Inn Express in North York a good 10 miles outside the city centre either, but again due to various complex friend-related reasons... etc. Still, a night in the drab suburbs did gave me a taste of what life must be like for your average Torontonian - a far cry from the idyllic, summer-cottage-by-the-lake existence enjoyed by their more fortunate brethren.

Once properly ensconced downtown at the much nicer Strathcona (although no free breakfast - complex friend-related reasons etc), I was much happier. The CN Tower is by far the main tourist attraction, although despite its great height it's not all that impressive when viewed from close-up - a grey concrete monolith which doesn't serve any practical function and instead serves as a people magnet and advertising hook for the city.

There was also A LOT of construction work going on nearby, a recurring theme in Toronto's ever-developing downtown. Fortunately the views from the top, not least the see-through perspex floor section, are worth it, and you can enjoy plenty of arguments as to where the tower exactly comes in the list of world's tallest buildings (technically it's a freestanding structure, or something).

Shame about the building sites, because this area is quite agreeable. The inside of the neighbouring Rogers Center (formerly Skydome) is impressive (we'll ignore the concrete exterior), and over the way is the Roundhouse - the old trains outside of which give a nod to its status as a former railway yard, but which is now home to the Steam Whistle Brewery who do enjoyable, sample-filled tours. From here, if you pretend that the whacking great expressway isn't in the way, you have a nice stroll down to the lakeshore, which has its share of boat tours, restaurants, parks and an artificial beach - no swimming though.

View of the tower from the islands

After a short walk eastwards you'll then arrive at the ferry to the Toronto Islands. Now, I have nothing against guidebooks and my Time Out guides proved invaluable on this trip, but: if I was selling Toronto I would be allocating far more than a couple of cursory pages to these. Though within spitting distance of the mainland,  there is none of the roadworks, scaffolding or any other growing pains of a modern city. Instead, sit several square miles of greenness, proper beaches and small, gently meandering roads on which pedal power is the principal propulsion method.

It's nice to know that they're not man-made either - the land bridge which joined them to the shore was flooded over by storms in the 19th century. Even the mini theme park doesn't do much to spoil the tranquility. (There's a small airport at the far end, but we'll ignore that too as it's dinkiness is rather adorable.)

The guidebook also recommended partaking of a Peameal sandwich at the St Lawrence Market. Mine was basically a posh bacon sandwhich - pretty tasty, although I rather suspect there's an artisan bakery somewhere where the natives can feast upon luxury sandwiches with all the trimmings and smirk at the tourists who queue up for the production-line peameals at the market. Pah.

Sculpture at Distillery District

Toronto is hardly awash with tourist attractions. I visited the Royal Ontario Museum (you can never have enough dinosaurs) and the Art Gallery of Ontario, which had some intriguing displays. There's also a Shoe Museum which, I'm reliably informed, was well worth seeing (a shoe-in, as it were). The best thing to do in the city though is just explore. The centre is small enough that the various cool/interesting districts are within reasonable walking distance, though the old-school streetcars are worth a ride too. This includes Little Italy, Chinatown (I can recommend Mother's Dumplings, which is not a euphemism), Kensington Market (a bit Shoreditch-y, but somehow less irritating) and other arty/studenty areas in and around the University.

A special mention should go to the Distillery District, tucked away in an unpromising eastern part of downtown. The old industrial buildings are now filled with all manner of arty boutiques, galleries and restaurants (and one brewery) - a uniquely funky area which hits just the right level on the pretentious scale.

In short, not a city I'd recommend unreservedly but you could do a lot worse than spend a few days here. It's also the obvious base for Niagara Falls, which could comfortably be "done" in a day trip if all you want to do is gawp at the Falls. If casinos, chain restaurants and cheesy attractions appeal though, you'd be well advised to rest awhile as you'll be quids in here. (I actually do like that stuff and would have happily stayed for several days to soak up the awesomely tacky vibes. The number of waxworks in just a few blocks alone is highly impressive.)

Check out that spume

The Falls themselves are obviously awesome, and of course on a fundamental level it's a damn shame that such natural beauty has been colonised by consumerism's worst excesses. Nonetheless, once you're on the Maid of the Mist and it gets right up close, and you're getting covered in spray and enveloped by the thunderous noise, you won't be thinking about anything else.

A final cautionary note: if you're travelling on to the US with friends of a parsimonious, some say niggardly, disposition (hey it's a word - look it up) and therefore decide cross the bridge to the American side by bus rather than pay more for the international car hire, try not to board a bus which gets stuck behind a hundreds-strong tour party at the border. It will take fucking AGES...