Obligatory end of year list
It's now 2012, but because I started writing this end-of-year listathon a few days ago it still counts as the final post of 2011, right? Away we go.
Best album
My favourite was PJ Harvey's Let England Shake, I'm afraid, just like everyone else's. Sometimes the obvious choice is obvious for a reason. One of those landmark, state-of-the-nation type records
Best gig
The Manic Street Preachers nearly stole this at the death with their December shindig at the O2 (all 38 singles in one night!), but an even more triumphal atmosphere was to be found at the reformed Suede's Brixton gigs. I paid a hefty sum for the privilege of seeing the Dog Man Star one after not being able to get rid of my spare ticket, but I'd have happily broken the bank to see one of my favourite albums, brilliantly delivered. Loved the way they didn't have to say a word to the crowd as we were all so pumped, and wish I'd seen the other gigs too.
Most erroneous lyrics
"I've got the moves like Jagger/I've got the moves like Jagger/I've got the mooooooooo-ooooves like Jagger." No. You. Fucking. Haven't.
Funniest play*
The opening scene of One Man Two Guv'nors was pretty ropey at first, then James Corden took to the stage and the whole thing became a ludicrously fun pantomime. Corden is celebrity marmite, in part due to ubiquitousness, but I defy the haters to watch this and still doubt the man's talent.
*Only play I saw tbf.
Best festival
Latitude, which admittedly was the only festival I attended too. And I curiously spent more time watching comedy and spoken word stuff than the music, but it does strike a nice balance between a range of solidly middle-class attractions. Not having to camp for 3 days in miserable weather was a bonus, admittedly.
Most punchable face
I just want to smack his stupid square head every time I see it. Sorry.
Best sporting moment
Purely on a personal level, the stress of flicking between two live matches (neither of which involved Wolves but both of which could seal our relegation) and Sky Sports News on the last day of the football season took years off my life, but the brief moments of euphoria when we survived (and Birmingham went down) were what make following sport worthwhile.
Worst sporting moment
Context is everything in sport, and the tragic sight of Rory McIlroy falling apart on the Augusta back nine has lost some of its sheen after the comprehensive exorcism that was his US Open win. Still, this was a reminder of how cruel sport can be, and that even the mightiest sportsmen are mere humans underneath it all.
Best fans
I found it amusing when the Swansea supporters at the Emirates were singing "You've only come/To watch the Swans", so it has to be them really. Their team aren't doing half bad either.
Worst fans
Unsurprisingly, Liverpool fans win this by a country mile. Some of them are still defending Luis Suarez, even after the publication of the full FA report of the "negro incident" has revealed him to be a despicable little so-and-so. The whole club hasn't exactly showered itself in glory here either, but the antics of the top brass and fans alike continue to provide endless amusement for the rest of us.
Worst current football manager
This could have gone to Steve Bruce had he managed to hold on, but of course the worthy winner is Steve Kean - a man who achieves the impressive feat of being simultaneously arrogant and incompetent. Fellow managers have been sticking up for him due to the extreme barracking he's receiving from his own fans, but only because of the old boys' club mentality which believes that fans should shut up unless they're cheering. Good old Steve of course has interpreted this as praise for doing a marvellous job. You have to laugh. (NB this was written before the Man Utd match the other day. Fluke tbh.)
Best film
Lots of good stuff this year - Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy springs instantly to mind (which has been garlanded enough, or will be), and Submarine stands out too (if only because I enjoyed it despite the obvious debt to the likes of my cinematic bete noir Wes Anderson, which is also the reason I can't make it my favourite. That and the interviews I heard with Richard Ayoade which made him sound like a dick), but for me there is nothing so pleasurable as a perfectly-executed mainstream movie and for that reason I'm going to say Bridesmaids. It was consistently funny and touching with a wonderful central performance from Kristen Wiig, and the blokey gross-out bits were by far the least interesting. Plenty of men won't have watched this, or will have pretended not to enjoy it out of principle. It's their loss.
Best TV
This is England '88 may not have been the best but it's freshest in my head. Just a compelling group of characters. The closing episode, from the OD sequence down to the inspired choice of Ken Boothe's Everything I Own for the closing credits, was a thing of beauty.
Most varied reactions elicited by a TV show
The Shadow Line wins this one hands-down. I found its mix of daft, convoluted drama and highfalutin' pretentiousness simultaneously engrossing and exasperating, and the main villain's indestructability made Captain Scarlett look like Owen Hargreaves. I couldn't tell you whether it was shit or brilliant overall, which in itself is quite an achievement.
Best internet meme
I don't know why I find these so funny. I just do.
Worst grammatical construction as seen in Guardian Weekend's letters pages
Note to correspondents: the use of three consecutive adjectives separated by commas make you sound prissy, pretentious, preposterous. You're welcome :-D
Best scandal
For a couple of heady weeks in the summer Hackgate was all-consuming, as new revelations came out daily, heads continued to roll and a 100+ year old newspaper was allowed to go to the wall with astonishing ease. Things quietened down eventually and the news cycle moved on, and whether the Leveson Inquiry will lead to genuine change in the media is debatable, but still - what a super soaraway story.
Most pointless end of year list
This one, obviously.
Best album
My favourite was PJ Harvey's Let England Shake, I'm afraid, just like everyone else's. Sometimes the obvious choice is obvious for a reason. One of those landmark, state-of-the-nation type records
Best gig
The Manic Street Preachers nearly stole this at the death with their December shindig at the O2 (all 38 singles in one night!), but an even more triumphal atmosphere was to be found at the reformed Suede's Brixton gigs. I paid a hefty sum for the privilege of seeing the Dog Man Star one after not being able to get rid of my spare ticket, but I'd have happily broken the bank to see one of my favourite albums, brilliantly delivered. Loved the way they didn't have to say a word to the crowd as we were all so pumped, and wish I'd seen the other gigs too.
Most erroneous lyrics
"I've got the moves like Jagger/I've got the moves like Jagger/I've got the mooooooooo-ooooves like Jagger." No. You. Fucking. Haven't.
Funniest play*
The opening scene of One Man Two Guv'nors was pretty ropey at first, then James Corden took to the stage and the whole thing became a ludicrously fun pantomime. Corden is celebrity marmite, in part due to ubiquitousness, but I defy the haters to watch this and still doubt the man's talent.
*Only play I saw tbf.
Best festival
Latitude, which admittedly was the only festival I attended too. And I curiously spent more time watching comedy and spoken word stuff than the music, but it does strike a nice balance between a range of solidly middle-class attractions. Not having to camp for 3 days in miserable weather was a bonus, admittedly.
Most punchable face
I just want to smack his stupid square head every time I see it. Sorry.
Best sporting moment
Purely on a personal level, the stress of flicking between two live matches (neither of which involved Wolves but both of which could seal our relegation) and Sky Sports News on the last day of the football season took years off my life, but the brief moments of euphoria when we survived (and Birmingham went down) were what make following sport worthwhile.
Worst sporting moment
Context is everything in sport, and the tragic sight of Rory McIlroy falling apart on the Augusta back nine has lost some of its sheen after the comprehensive exorcism that was his US Open win. Still, this was a reminder of how cruel sport can be, and that even the mightiest sportsmen are mere humans underneath it all.
Best fans
I found it amusing when the Swansea supporters at the Emirates were singing "You've only come/To watch the Swans", so it has to be them really. Their team aren't doing half bad either.
Worst fans
Unsurprisingly, Liverpool fans win this by a country mile. Some of them are still defending Luis Suarez, even after the publication of the full FA report of the "negro incident" has revealed him to be a despicable little so-and-so. The whole club hasn't exactly showered itself in glory here either, but the antics of the top brass and fans alike continue to provide endless amusement for the rest of us.
Worst current football manager
This could have gone to Steve Bruce had he managed to hold on, but of course the worthy winner is Steve Kean - a man who achieves the impressive feat of being simultaneously arrogant and incompetent. Fellow managers have been sticking up for him due to the extreme barracking he's receiving from his own fans, but only because of the old boys' club mentality which believes that fans should shut up unless they're cheering. Good old Steve of course has interpreted this as praise for doing a marvellous job. You have to laugh. (NB this was written before the Man Utd match the other day. Fluke tbh.)
Best film
Lots of good stuff this year - Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy springs instantly to mind (which has been garlanded enough, or will be), and Submarine stands out too (if only because I enjoyed it despite the obvious debt to the likes of my cinematic bete noir Wes Anderson, which is also the reason I can't make it my favourite. That and the interviews I heard with Richard Ayoade which made him sound like a dick), but for me there is nothing so pleasurable as a perfectly-executed mainstream movie and for that reason I'm going to say Bridesmaids. It was consistently funny and touching with a wonderful central performance from Kristen Wiig, and the blokey gross-out bits were by far the least interesting. Plenty of men won't have watched this, or will have pretended not to enjoy it out of principle. It's their loss.
Best TV
This is England '88 may not have been the best but it's freshest in my head. Just a compelling group of characters. The closing episode, from the OD sequence down to the inspired choice of Ken Boothe's Everything I Own for the closing credits, was a thing of beauty.
Most varied reactions elicited by a TV show
The Shadow Line wins this one hands-down. I found its mix of daft, convoluted drama and highfalutin' pretentiousness simultaneously engrossing and exasperating, and the main villain's indestructability made Captain Scarlett look like Owen Hargreaves. I couldn't tell you whether it was shit or brilliant overall, which in itself is quite an achievement.
Best internet meme
I don't know why I find these so funny. I just do.
Worst grammatical construction as seen in Guardian Weekend's letters pages
Note to correspondents: the use of three consecutive adjectives separated by commas make you sound prissy, pretentious, preposterous. You're welcome :-D
Best scandal
For a couple of heady weeks in the summer Hackgate was all-consuming, as new revelations came out daily, heads continued to roll and a 100+ year old newspaper was allowed to go to the wall with astonishing ease. Things quietened down eventually and the news cycle moved on, and whether the Leveson Inquiry will lead to genuine change in the media is debatable, but still - what a super soaraway story.
Most pointless end of year list
This one, obviously.
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