It's Trek, Jim, but not as we know it

On a scale of Star Trek enthusiasts, where 1 is reserved for occasional dabblers and 10 means you got married in an exact replica of Worf and Dax’s Klingon garb from You Are Cordially Invited (Deep Space 9, S6, ep 7), I would sit no higher than halfway. Which I think stands me in good stead when it comes to judging New Trek - I’m informed enough to know how much JJ Abrams has deviated from the original material without getting het up at the fact that he’s been allowed to have his way with the franchise in the first place.

Seeing as Hollywood has been on a mission to reboot every classic movie or series recently (not to mention plenty of rubbish ones), a shiny new reset button-smashing Trek was always going to be on the cards. The 2009 film took plenty of money and vindicated Paramount’s decision to hand Abrams the reins - being a self-confessed Trek virgin (not in the stereotypical Trek fan = virgin sense, either), our man was able to approach the franchise with a fresh pair of eyes and deliver a modern action blockbuster aimed squarely at a mainstream audience.

By taking the iconic original series characters and updating them, then throwing them into a plot which was holier than Rab C Nesbitt’s vest and adding a massive break in continuity to establish a new universe timeline, the result could have been a mess but ended up as a highly entertaining thrill ride.

Star Trek Into Darkness starts with the Enterprise parked underwater on a primitive planet, for no obvious reason other than it looking cool when it takes off. The rest of this opening sequence consists of debate about the Prime Directive (non-interference with alien cultures) conducted entirely by men and women either dashing around or frantically trying to save a crewmate/planet/both. The frenetic pace rarely lets up from there. When there is a pause for breath, like the scene which introduces Benedict Cumberbatch’s dastardly character (it's barely a spoiler to point out at this stage that John Harrison isn't his real name), it ends with a bomb going off and the plot propels itself forward towards the next action sequence.

Kirk and the crew are duly despatched to take Harrison out, but there are plenty of complications involving Klingons (now without the long hair), a secret branch of Starfleet and associated mysterious weaponry, all of which lead to many whizz-bangs, battles both ship-based and hand-to-hand, a zeitgeisty “free diving through space” sequence which feels very similar to that base jumping bit from the last film, and so forth.

All of which shows that Abrams has no problem generating momentum, but in itself that’s not enough to sustain interest. Character has always been at the heart of Star Trek, with the Kirk-Spock-McCoy triumverate evoking particular fondness. Bones is somewhat sidelined here in what mostly amounts to an on-screen commentator’s role, leaving Zoe Saldana’s Uhura to cement herself firmly into the third corner of this (b)romantic triangle. Sadly, whatever good work Abrams does in acknowledging sexual equality’s progress since the original series' launch is undone by one swift and entirely unnecessary scene of Alice Eve’s character in her pants, making it clear that New Trek is not too fussed about cornering the female market. Even more unfortunately, Eve’s cut-glass tones belong in a completely different film.

Still, Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto seem to be having great fun in their roles, doing their best to flesh out the Kirk-Spock relationship for a new generation who, with a few exceptions, won’t have the original series backstory to fall back on. There’s just enough emotional development to make you care, and most of the one-liners and affectionate nods to Old Trek hit the mark. It does seem clear at this point however that these are not going to be particularly warm or fuzzy films - adjectives like “gleaming” and “efficient” are fare more apt.

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“Switching your brain off” is another phrase that springs to mind, and one that’s become a byword of the modern action genre. Films like this aren’t really supposed to make sense, instead if your disbelief is suspended for the duration then the premium-rate effects and epic spectacle have done their job.

The very idea of switching your brain off to enjoy Trek is of course anathema to the hardcore Trekkers. These guys, for example, feel somewhat differently about Into Darkness. For me, a useful companion piece to the New Treks is Prometheus, a film which wasn’t an explicit reboot of an old franchise, but is separated from the originals by such a wide stylistic and temporal gulf that it may as well have been. My enjoyment of all three can be expressed in a similar way - nothing like the “originals”, but successful within the parameters of dumb modern action movies.

The common denominator here is Damon Lindelof, who attained hitherto unheard-of levels of infamy in geekdom whilst being the head writer of Lost (my views on that here). But, whatever you think of his ability to drive forward plot without resorting to audience-cheating twists, or to write any sort of coherent ending, there’s a reason why so many people felt personally affronted after Lost’s finale - because the rest of the series had built itself up so well. Without the hours of great character development and tautly-wound tension, no viewers would have bothered waiting around that long in the first place.

My advice to the haters is simply to let this new stuff go. Don’t refer to the new movies as 11 and 12 - treat them as the entirely separate beast they are. Try not to knock Abrams’s directorial skills just because he’s not making the movies you want him to make. Stop harping on about Lindelof as if he’s worse than a child molester. And most importantly, don’t keep pining for a continuation of the “old” Trek universe but with new writers/directors. This is what they tried with Nemesis, and just think how awful that was.

Insurrection was hardly great either. Neither were Enterprise or Voyager, while we're on the subject. Maybe, just maybe, the old universe stuff was getting tired. But here’s the thing - it’s safe. It’s in the bank. A beautiful artefact is not “desecrated” whenever anyone tries to make a new version, however inferior the knock-offs may be.

The most fundamental misconception amongst fandom is that they somehow have a proprietary interest in the franchises they love. While it’s true that fan demand saved the original Trek series from cancellation, initially at least, that didn’t give the masses a say in how it should be run. At its best, Star Trek is a gourmet four course meal. The Abrams version is a higher-end McDonalds meal by comparison (extra large Big Tasty with Bacon, if you’re asking). It may not satisfy you for as long, but you enjoy it while it lasts. And there’s more than enough room in the world for both.