Disney World 2022
** NOTE TO READERS: This post is entirely self-indulgent and likely contains little of relevance to anybody outside my immediate family. But I love Disney World so much I’m not quite ready to let it go again yet, so here we are.**
For the sake of time/space/energy I’ll try to stick to aspects of our trip that were new or different. And there certainly has been plenty of change at WDW – since the Covid-enforced closures, many features that were previously free have either returned at a cost or have disappeared completely. Only a cynic would suggest that the global pandemic provided perfect cover for new CEO Bob Chapek to implement all the cost-cutting measures Disney hadn’t dared to previously – and I am one, so that’s good. Coupled with some major PR mis-steps, it’s fair to say that Bob’s start has been rocky.
Before you even get on site, Disney’s free Magical Express airport transfer service is now gone, replaced by the fee-charging Mears Connect coaches – ie the same vehicles with all the Disney branding removed. Our experience was smooth and hassle-free; true, you don’t get the cartoons or videos but on the plus side there’s no mega-DVC timeshare hard sell on the way home either.
Resorts
We would recommend Pop unreservedly; especially due to the Skyliner (above).
We’d ridden this cable car service on our last trip, but here it was integral
to our getting to the parks and its roll on, roll off nature means you don’t
have to faff around with folding up your buggy before you embark. The cars are
really fun to look at and ride in, and it’s staffed very effectively so even at
peak times the lines move pretty fast. It also provides easy access to a bunch
of other resorts, which we used to our advantage to sample a couple of restaurants.
Sebastian’s Bistro at Caribbean Beach is a nice family-style meal comparable
to what you get at Ohana in the Polynesian only far less rammed and rushed and much
better value. It’s arguably one of WDW’s best-kept secrets. Topolino’s
Terrace (below) offers a character breakfast with Mr and Mrs Mouse and Duck on the top
floor of the new-ish Riviera resort (which has a charming Mediterranean theme
that again doesn’t come across well on video). Although not cheap, this is
still the same cost as Chef Mickey’s but in a much nicer and more chilled location
and with far better quality food that they will try to feed you to death with.
Highly recommended.
The split stay logistics were pretty pain-free, bar a few niggles with the tech not updating on moving day (oh yeah, magic bands are no longer free so returning visitors should keep your old ones). You just dump your luggage off in the morning and collect it at your second resort that afternoon. All good.
Returning to Animal Kingdom Lodge (below) was like being welcomed into the warm bosom of an old friend, or something. Our room was on a quieter bit of savannah this time around, which meant fewer animals wandering outside, but (a) we weren’t facing the parking lot and (b) it beats paying like a whole grand extra for the best views, especially when you can see plenty of creatures from the communal viewing areas. Boma and Sanaa remain excellent, the latter’s bread service and curries being much closer to the kind of food we enjoy at home than you get at most Disney restaurants. We didn’t spend a lot of time at the resort (see below), so didn’t get to appreciate the activities which have come back like the nightly campfire, movie under the stars, etc, but AKL is a beautiful, welcoming place – the cheapest Deluxe resort and nowhere near as remote as some people suggest (from some visitor comments you’d think it was located in the middle of nowhere rather than an easy 20-minute bus ride away from any park or the Springs).
Genie+ (uh oh)
The biggest post-Covid change is the replacement of the old, free Fastpass+ with the new, expensive Genie+ and Lightning Lane services. Now, Lord knows that Fastpass was so complicated that it took an entire 100-minute video to explain it all – basically relying on game theory principles wherein a minority of “expert” users like us would gain massive benefits to their wait time experience at the direct expense of the seething masses of uneducated plebs. There are surely ways such a system could have been overhauled to benefit a greater percentage of guests. Unfortunately, Genie+ ain’t it.
Basic Genie is little more than a “helpful” day planner that will send you to the quietest corners of a park if you are foolish enough to let it. Genie+ is the real meat. Unlike Fastpasses, which had to be booked well in advance, Genie reservations only open for business at 7am on the day, meaning a frantic rush for the optimum rides – less than ideal for overseas guests relying on the notoriously spotty Disney Wifi for all their tech needs (and nearly everything at Disney now needs tech). You’re also given no option to select a ride window that suits you, so you’re given the next available hour-long window for that attraction no matter if you have other plans for that part of the day.
The upshot is you’re very unlikely to get Genie+ bookings
for more than one major ride each morning. The way the system is set up, with
mandatory two-hour time limits between reservations, means that to get the
requisite amount of bang for your buck you’ll need to “stack” a bunch of
reservations for low- to medium-demand rides for later on in the day, and will
end up spending more time in the parks to eke out as much value as possible.
Magic Kingdom, boasting the largest selection of popular rides, provides the
best stacking opportunities for hardcore users (see Touringplans.com’s excellent Genie+ videos for a far better and more detailed dissection of all
this.) Those unwilling to put in the hard yards will likely get a mere handful
of reservations for all that financial outlay.
On top of this sit Individual Lightning Lanes –
currently offered for just one headline attraction per park (which makes Genie+
itself that much trickier), for at least $12 a pop and again opening at 7am. The
best of these (Rise of the Resistance) will sell out in minutes, totally banjaxing
guests staying outside the parks who can’t even try to get an ILL until park
opening. We ended up purchasing Rise, because the parks were so busy that we
had to rope-drop either Slinky or Mickey and Minnie because they would yield
much later ride times on Genie+ and we didn’t necessarily want to hang around
Hollywood Studios all day.
In summary: screw you, Bob.
Epcot
Our very first early-morning rope drop ride was the France
pavilion’s brand new Remy’s Ratatouille Adventure. This has lovely
state-of-the-art trackless ride tech as you’re given a 3D, rat’s eye view of
being chased around a Paris restaurant by a bevvy of angry chefs. Unfortunately
the experience was way too tense for our four year-old daughter Charlotte, who
now “hates” Remy and declares she will never ride it again. Maybe
next time.
Epcot now resembles less of a building site, with the new Guardians of the Galaxy ride almost built and all but the centre of what we still call Future World now accessible. In hindsight, we really should have visited some of the booths at the Flower and Garden Festival (above), food and drink being all the festivals’ major raison d’etre. It’s not as if there weren’t some gluten free options for our coeliac daughter either. Snack-wise we were of course limited, with most baked goods out of bounds to Charlotte and therefore to us too, unless we could find her a suitable GF alternative. Popcorn and ice cream were our two sweet staples – we had several refills of Canada’s deliciously sweet maple popcorn, and France’s L’Artisan des Glaces was excellent as ever. Unfortunately we had a major gluten incident at Regal Eagle smokehouse. If this hadn’t been our first day we’d have noticed that they didn’t prepare our food separately or garnish it with the usual allergy friendly toothpick; as it was, she vomited it all back up a couple of hours later. I should stress that this was our only bad experience of the trip, and otherwise Disney is an absolute haven for those cursed with food allergies. But we’re unlikely to eat here again, even though the BBQ fare is decent.
We did actually spend some time perusing the festival’s titular
flora and foliage too – the two scavenger hunts are great for kids, as our daughter
enjoyed spotting the hidden eggs and Spike the Bee figures in the various
gardens dotted around World Showcase, and of course choosing her rewards upon
completion. We also stayed late one evening to catch the much-maligned Harmonious.
This latest night-time show is marred by (a) the permanent flotilla of giant barges required for the VFX that ruin the daytime view across the lake,
(b) the soundtrack’s generic selection of C-list Disney songs, and (c) the lack
of any overarching narrative that relates to Epcot’s themes. Changes are
already in the works; expect a bunch of Encanto songs to appear here soon.
Hollywood Studios
With the addition of Galaxy’s Edge and Toy Story Land as
well as the long-overdue ride bearing Mickey’s name, DHS now has a surfeit of
major attractions and very few minor ones, making it an impossible park to tour
without horrendous wait times. It doesn’t help when you’re queuing for Tower of
Terror, already only running at half capacity due to maintenance work, and someone
voms in one of the remaining lifts. Bleurgh.
Happily, Rise of the Resistance (above) is a genuinely awesome ride and everything that Millennium Falcon: Smuggler’s Run should have been. Here you go through three super-intricate and detailed pre-show rooms before you even get to the main event – a breakneck trackless ride that sends you careening through an enemy star destroyer. Rise provides a fully immersive experience without the need for any ‘interactive’ element, whereas the Falcon is really just Star Tours where you occasionally mash a load of buttons.
Meanwhile Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway is a
marvelous combo of state-of-the-art ride tech and lovingly-crafted Disney
animation. If you haven’t seen this latest reiteration of Mickey Mouse
cartoons, it’s worth checking those out before riding as the new-look
characters take some getting used to. If you’re on board with their more
knowing, Ren and Stimpy style silliness though, you’re in for a treat.
And that’s pretty much that in terms of new stuff at DHS. We
deliberately ate no meals there because the food continues to receive average
reviews at best. Disney could really do better. Maybe the forthcoming Toy Story-themed Roundup Rodeo BBQ joint will be worth a visit.
Animal Kingdom
This park opened at the insane hour of 7am for resort guests. It’s not exactly over-laden with attractions at the best of times, and Nemo and Everest are both still closed. Kilimanjaro Safaris didn’t open until 8, and the first Lion King show was at 10. After a torrid first morning, we decided that rope dropping AK simply wasn’t worth it under these circumstances. Second time around, we arrived for 8ish, queued for the Safaris (always worth doing no matter how long the wait), then just spent some time pottering around the Tree of Life (above) and the various trails and animal exhibits. This remains the most beautiful of all the four parks; what a shame it’s being so mismanaged.
Shout out to Satuli Canteen though, which offers genuinely tasty and different counter service food, and to Nomad Lounge, which sadly we couldn’t get into when seeking refuge from a rainstorm (clearly a so-called “hidden gem” no longer).
Magic Kingdom
Of course we spent most of our time in MK, and of course bringing a four year-old meant that we rode Dumbo, the Barnstormer, the Carousel and the dreaded Small World way more than is necessary or advisable. But of course it’s still the park which provides the most magic for kids of all ages. Characters abound – sometimes popping up on top of Main Street railway station (above), plus in the parades, cavalcades and the castle stage show. Meet-and-greets were not quite back to normal – hugging resumed just after we left, dammit – but the guys in the costumes continue to do a fantastic job at making kids feel special. Meeting the various Princesses is one of the few occasions where our little chatterbox has been rendered speechless.
She also loved Splash Mountain, which was quite surprising considering the big drop at the end. Of course she could demand to go on it multiple times safe in the knowledge she would be sheltered between Mummy and Daddy while they bore the brunt of the splashing. NB do not sit at the front if you’re averse to the wet.
The Festival of Fantasy Parade (above) has recently returned after many months away, albeit looking rather sparse in places due to staff recruitment issues post pandemic (perhaps the billion-dollar company shouldn’t have laid off so many people, hmm?). FoF’s return now makes the character cavalcades somewhat redundant, as they are basically smaller-scale, more impromptu parades. Fun as they are, expect these to disappear in the long-term.
The Mickey’s Magical Friendship Faire show on the
castle stage is also back, and pretty much the same as before except for the
shiny new 50th anniversary costumes. It’s worth dwelling on the 50th thing for a moment here – this is a near 18 month-long celebration of the
opening of WDW which you would think would be a massive deal. And indeed there
are the aforementioned character costumes, plus exclusive merch, food and
beverage items, a set of 50 gold character statues across the parks and special
light shows on the four main “landmarks” in each park. But all this adds up to very
little in the grand scheme of your visit. Disney knows they are making a
massive fail with this: some of the blame can be laid at Covid’s door, but it
really feels like a failure of imagination. This is the most magical place on
earth, for heaven’s sake. Shouldn’t a major milestone anniversary feel more,
well, special?
Disney Enchantment is the new night-time fireworks show, which may or may not stick around after the 50th festivities. This suffers in comparison to its predecessor, the beloved Happily Ever After, which had first dibs on the best songs, but watching it up close with all the lights and animations projected onto the castle and with a crowd-full of kids oohing and ahhing at the pyrotechnics is still rather life-affirming. We also had lunch in Skipper Canteen, a Jungle Cruise-themed restaurant which serves some spicier, decidedly un-American cuisine, but we surprisingly enjoyed some old fashioned hot dogs from Casey’s Corner while waiting for the fireworks. Although MK is hit or miss for food, there are so many options that you can always find something good (research permitting).
Disney Springs
Because it was the weekend, our lunch at The Boathouse was actually the brunch sitting, which chiefly meant sweet bread rolls that were more like iced buns and dueling piano players to soundtrack the meal. YMMV as to whether these are net positives. A decent meal overall, with a seafood-heavy menu. Cookes of Dublin do decent fish and chips and also offer an always-welcome GF option. It was quite dirty inside but we were in the aftermath of a thunderstorm, so they get the benefit of the doubt. Our main goal in the Springs though was to stock up on Gideon's Bakehouse cookies. These used to be on sale at the Polite Pig until they opened up a second branch here, and they are so in-demand that this store requires a touring strategy every bit as carefully-planned as any major ride (and it has the theming to match, see above). We arrived early on our penultimate day and queued for a mere 25 minutes before proceeding to purchase our full personal allowance of biscuity goodness (6 cookies per person). If you think this seems excessive, feel free to take it up with my wife.
Conclusion
This trip cost around twice as much as our previous ones. Some of this is down to post-pandemic logistics – eg far fewer daily flights to Orlando, leading to sky-high air fares. But, quite obviously, Disney have upped their prices to a high degree and removed most of their free perks, arguably using Covid as a convenient excuse. It’s hard not to conclude that Chapek and co are taking the piss, relentlessly nickel-and-diming their guests and relying on our love of the brand and that ineffable Disney World magic to keep us coming back. And the problem is, like good little fans, we will, because there’s nowhere else that makes us quite so happy if we forget about the drain on our wallets.
In summary: screw you, Bob.
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