Yet another blog in a sea of millions. The url is actually quite rude. Sorry about that.
Conspiracy uncovered in Wood Green
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I put this on my Facebook but figured it deserved the widest possible audience to be put on here too. Just imagine if these allegations turned out to be true. You heard it here first.
Went to Twickenham yesterday to see REM. As a pro-football, anti-rugby man I really wanted to have a moan about the venue but annoyingly I could find nothing wrong with it. Even though the station isn't as near the ground as Wembley, the crowd control and journey home were as good as they could realistically be. Curses! I arrived just in time for Guillemots , between whose songs the screens either side of the stage displayed adverts for their album and downloadable songs, which even in these days of commercial saturation seemed a tad vulgar. The 'Mots (as nobody calls them) are as erratic a proposition as you'd expect from a band whose members include a fat Brazilian drummer, an impossibly exotic double bassist/percussionist named Aristzabal Hawkes, and a hyperactive indie-boy leader who goes by as strange a moniker as Fyfe Dangerfield. Take Kriss Kross , which begins with a killer keyboard riff that proceeds to go missing for a couple of minutes as the song tears through a...
Sadly, mine look nowhere near as cool as these. A new branch of [well-known optical emporium] has just opened up the road from the office and, mindful of the fact that I’ve regularly had to squint to read text on my TV such as teletext, subtitles on foreign films etc (oh alright, it’s usually the scores on Sky Sports) for a while now, I took advantage of their aggressively-marketed free eye test offer. Lo and behold, I am now the owner of two brand-new pairs of glasses. Leaving aside the commercial considerations of the said opticians (in possible borderline cases such as mine where my eyes clearly aren’t that bad, do they prescribe specs anyway in order to gain customers?), I’m now adjusting to the fact that I’ll be spending large portions of my life with bits of glass and metal on my face. Things look subtly different when I put them on. It’s a very strange sensation. I also felt even more self-conscious than usual when I put them on in the office for the first time this morning. Wou...
... er, actually not at all. Addo Elephant Park , a huge national park in which we stayed last night, and where you can do your own safaris or guided tours with a chance of seeing all sorts of big game, was really good. I just wanted to do that pun. (Sorry.) The so-called Big Five animals all live there, although of the five we only saw elephants and buffalo, missing out on rhino, lions and leopards. I didn't have massively high expectations going into the safaris, having never done anything like this "in the wild" before, and therefore I really enjoyed seeing a plethora of pachyderms as well as warthogs, meerkats, zebras, a tortoise and a whole host of deer/antelope-y creatures - an Eland, some Hartebeest and loads of beautiful Kudu, which were by far the most numerous. The guide on the guided trip we did said there used to be even more Kudu in the park, which was the main reason for introducing the lions into the fray. Having stopped off at a market at lunchtime, I ca...
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