Sweet Nothings

Am I an arsehole for thinking this whole Jonathan Ross/Russell Brand "scandal" was funny? How come this fills me with apoplectic rage, yet the first one doesn’t? Is it because both Brand and Ross possess fantastic wit and verbal flair, whereas George Lamb is just a crass, hateful sack of shite? But, why was this material even broadcast? Surely shows like this are pre-recorded for this very reason? Still, I found it funny. But I can also see why Mr Sachs would find it deeply offensive. I can see why the Mail and especially ITV, for whom this was the MAIN ITEM on their early evening news yesterday, are getting so worked up, because it’s an excuse to lay into the Beeb, but I can’t see why anybody else is complaining, because quite frankly what’s it got to do with them? Sachs has complained, they’ve apologised. I still find Ross and Brand hilarious, but I somehow feel like I shouldn’t, because everyone is telling me they are just childish idiots who are too big for their boots,...

To Vicarage Road yesterday for Watford-Wolves. The PA announcer persisted in referring to the home team as "the Golden Boys". Two things: (a) you play in yellow, and (b) what the heck was wrong with the Hornets as a nickname?? Quite aside from the fact that the football you play could never in a million years be described as "golden", and in fact can more accurately be summarised as "cynical long-ball thuggery". To be fair to Adrian Bothroyd though, I'm sure he doesn't expect their flagrant rule-bending to be condoned by most refs, and it's not entirely his team's fault that the ref yesterday was letting them get away with BLOODY EVERYTHING. Oh well, we did win the game despite our defence looking no better than the last couple of games. It's a rollercoaster of a life being a Wolves fan.

If I tried to list every social faux pas I made I would probably break the internet, but here are a couple of choice recent ones. The scene: a pub somewhere off Tottenham Court Road, last weekend. Went along with my friend Dave to meet some of his old uni coursemates. It was established that they were in their early 30s - although one of them was a super-trendy gay guy who despite being 31 looked about 15, and was bragging light-heartedly about how he always got asked for ID. (Although I bet he must need like 5 hours to get ready for a night out so hah! - the joke’s on him.) Another guy had brought along his new ladyfriend, with whom I’d been attempting to converse. Bear in mind that she was some kind of frustrated singer/songwriter type who was on the fringes of the music scene, and that she was going through a messy divorce process from a guy who’d apparently treated her like shit. Anyway, the above was her cue to chuck out, missile-like, that most loaded of questions - “How old do y...

Moving on to the morass of mediocrity which makes up the majority of the league, which now seems set to include Everton . It’s hard not to feel sorry for David Moyes, as the pragmatic approach his team have used to overachieve and reach a high level is now putting off the kind of player he needs to push the team on. Thus their sheer desperation to sign players, any players, before the end of the window saw the arrival of Screech out of Saved By The Bell and Louis Saha, who should at least ensure that the club physios earn their wages. The bubble may well have burst. Blackburn are also on the way down - although probably not as far as many thought when mischievous reports began to surface about Paul Ince losing the dressing room after just a couple of weeks. Ince is clearly no mug, although it would only take the loss of another couple of key players to for them to be teetering on the brink of utter crapness. Plus, Incey has not yet figured out that smaller clubs can’t play wide open a...

Now we have another international break, it seems like a good time to assess the general state of the Premier League, Premiership, EPL or whatever you want to call it. Chelsea and Liverpool currently lead the way. I still have something of an aversion to watching both of these teams, especially the former given their ruthlessly efficient, football-is-for-winning-rather-than-entertaining philosophy under Jose. And under Avram, who didn’t really change anything. Scolari on the other hand does appear to want to actually play a bit of football, with full backs running past the halfway line and everything, so I may have to give them a go again. The BestClubInTheLand (TM) appear to have bucked their ideas up somewhat after my furious rant at them - having beaten Everton and both Manchester clubs on their own patches using varying degrees of skill and luck, they may just be actual title contenders. Torres is back on last season’s form and Robbie Keane is too good a player not to settle in th...