the Prem, continued...
Moving on to the morass of mediocrity which makes up the majority of the league, which now seems set to include Everton. It’s hard not to feel sorry for David Moyes, as the pragmatic approach his team have used to overachieve and reach a high level is now putting off the kind of player he needs to push the team on. Thus their sheer desperation to sign players, any players, before the end of the window saw the arrival of Screech out of Saved By The Bell and Louis Saha, who should at least ensure that the club physios earn their wages. The bubble may well have burst.
Blackburn are also on the way down - although probably not as far as many thought when mischievous reports began to surface about Paul Ince losing the dressing room after just a couple of weeks. Ince is clearly no mug, although it would only take the loss of another couple of key players to for them to be teetering on the brink of utter crapness.
Plus, Incey has not yet figured out that smaller clubs can’t play wide open against Arsenal unless they want their arses handed to them. Roy Keane most certainly has, and made sure to emphasise the gulf in quality that prompted Sunderland to stick 10 men behind the ball against them. This in turn prompted many to point out that Keane’s Black Cats side (I hate that nickname, what’s it got to do with anything?) actually cost more than Arsenal’s. Niall Quinn’s mates are clearly pretty flush, but how long will it take before they start to question why they are letting their manager spunk millions of pounds on fairly mediocre players in every single transfer window, only for them to still be hovering around the relegation zone? This makes it even more remarkable that Keano has become this Voice Of Reason figure in football all of a sudden. Seriously, how did this happen??
Staying with the non-comedy part of the North-East, Gareth Southgate seems to be doing a fairly decent job at Middlesborough. With a squad full of local youngsters and a notoriously forgiving chairman (and a preponderance of joke clubs who are doing far worse than them, obviously), he must be feeling pretty good about life. Or as good as you can do whilst living in Middlesborough, I guess.
Wigan, Bolton, Fulham, Stoke and West Brom can all expect bottom-half finishes at best. Fulham are doing relatively okay, but that’s only in comparison to Lawrie Sanchez’s disastrous tenure. None of these clubs are proverbially “too good to go down”.... and neither are Tottenham or Newcastle! lolz! It’s difficult to know where to start with these two, both of whom are busy turning farce into the purest art form. However, the crux of both clubs’ catastrophic predicaments appears to be the failure to correctly implement the dreaded two-tier, continental-stylee managerial system.
There have been wildly conflicting reports as to the nature of the relationship between the Spurs Director of Football (or whatever he’s called), Mr Comolli, and the coach, and as to who exactly is buying the players. Whatever is going on, the playing staff at the club is hopelessly imbalanced. Blame must surely go to Comolli for dicking around with Man U over Berbatov - yes, he may have made the club an extra couple of million by dragging things out till the final day of the window, but it’s left the club with a massively inferior strikeforce. Even if the rumoured eleventh-hour bid for Emile Heskey had come off, this would still be the case. Coupled with a lightweight midfield, a defence in constant flux due to Ledley King’s being made of glass or something, an arguably worse keeper than last season, AND Juande's somewhat eccentric team selections, it’s difficult to see a clear way out for the club. Relegation is a very real possibility at this stage, and one that will become even more likely if the club and the fans keep dismissing it.
As for the Geordies... wow. Suffice to say, if you want to implement a continental management structure with a coach who has no say on which players are brought in, DO NOT appoint a coach who clearly expects full control over all team matters and who has a track record for buggering off when he becomes a wee bit unhappy. Appointing DENNIS FREAKING WISE as your Director of Football and basing him at the opposite end of the country would not be recommended either.
But this is the crazy thing about football nowadays: a bunch of even richer, slighly dubious foreign gentleman could take the club over tomorrow, reinstall Keggy Keegle, buy a couple of half-decent players and ensure they finish the season midtable at worst. Literally anything can happen. It probably won’t, but that’s always been the beauty of football. Here’s to an interesting season.
Blackburn are also on the way down - although probably not as far as many thought when mischievous reports began to surface about Paul Ince losing the dressing room after just a couple of weeks. Ince is clearly no mug, although it would only take the loss of another couple of key players to for them to be teetering on the brink of utter crapness.
Plus, Incey has not yet figured out that smaller clubs can’t play wide open against Arsenal unless they want their arses handed to them. Roy Keane most certainly has, and made sure to emphasise the gulf in quality that prompted Sunderland to stick 10 men behind the ball against them. This in turn prompted many to point out that Keane’s Black Cats side (I hate that nickname, what’s it got to do with anything?) actually cost more than Arsenal’s. Niall Quinn’s mates are clearly pretty flush, but how long will it take before they start to question why they are letting their manager spunk millions of pounds on fairly mediocre players in every single transfer window, only for them to still be hovering around the relegation zone? This makes it even more remarkable that Keano has become this Voice Of Reason figure in football all of a sudden. Seriously, how did this happen??
Staying with the non-comedy part of the North-East, Gareth Southgate seems to be doing a fairly decent job at Middlesborough. With a squad full of local youngsters and a notoriously forgiving chairman (and a preponderance of joke clubs who are doing far worse than them, obviously), he must be feeling pretty good about life. Or as good as you can do whilst living in Middlesborough, I guess.
Wigan, Bolton, Fulham, Stoke and West Brom can all expect bottom-half finishes at best. Fulham are doing relatively okay, but that’s only in comparison to Lawrie Sanchez’s disastrous tenure. None of these clubs are proverbially “too good to go down”.... and neither are Tottenham or Newcastle! lolz! It’s difficult to know where to start with these two, both of whom are busy turning farce into the purest art form. However, the crux of both clubs’ catastrophic predicaments appears to be the failure to correctly implement the dreaded two-tier, continental-stylee managerial system.
There have been wildly conflicting reports as to the nature of the relationship between the Spurs Director of Football (or whatever he’s called), Mr Comolli, and the coach, and as to who exactly is buying the players. Whatever is going on, the playing staff at the club is hopelessly imbalanced. Blame must surely go to Comolli for dicking around with Man U over Berbatov - yes, he may have made the club an extra couple of million by dragging things out till the final day of the window, but it’s left the club with a massively inferior strikeforce. Even if the rumoured eleventh-hour bid for Emile Heskey had come off, this would still be the case. Coupled with a lightweight midfield, a defence in constant flux due to Ledley King’s being made of glass or something, an arguably worse keeper than last season, AND Juande's somewhat eccentric team selections, it’s difficult to see a clear way out for the club. Relegation is a very real possibility at this stage, and one that will become even more likely if the club and the fans keep dismissing it.
As for the Geordies... wow. Suffice to say, if you want to implement a continental management structure with a coach who has no say on which players are brought in, DO NOT appoint a coach who clearly expects full control over all team matters and who has a track record for buggering off when he becomes a wee bit unhappy. Appointing DENNIS FREAKING WISE as your Director of Football and basing him at the opposite end of the country would not be recommended either.
But this is the crazy thing about football nowadays: a bunch of even richer, slighly dubious foreign gentleman could take the club over tomorrow, reinstall Keggy Keegle, buy a couple of half-decent players and ensure they finish the season midtable at worst. Literally anything can happen. It probably won’t, but that’s always been the beauty of football. Here’s to an interesting season.
Comments